Remembering my beautiful mother Constance Simpson aged 90yrs who lived through the war during her childhood and teenage years in London. She watched my father and eldest brother lose their life's to cancer and my other brother battle with it. She then battled cancer herself twice and suffered with vascular dementia for the last ten years of her life. I cared for her along side working as a community mental health nurse. In her elder years she lived on her own in a warden controlled bungalow. She believed there was nothing wrong with her memory and would argue the toss, bless her. She was a very strong lady and wanted to live to her 100th birthday but alas it was not to be. In March 2020 she had a bad fall after becoming very confused with a UTI. She needed a hospital admission as she had two bleeds on her brain. I spent as much time with her in hospital as possible as I worried so much that she would not understand what was happening. Then COVID restrictions came in and slowly but surly I was not allowed to visit her. She was allocated a social worker and we felt at that time she would be best placed to go into a care home until the virus settled, than get her back home if possible. I was not allowed to visit her, then I received the call 'she is now at end of life care' how devastating was that! I just wanted her home, to care for her and be with her during her last days. With PPE I managed to see her twice before she passed, just hours before she died on the 28th April. I was then not allowed to see her at the Chapel of rest, nor have her dressed in her best but a gown they said she had to wear. I put some of her possessions together and asked they be buried with her. I had always been to see my family at the 'chapel of rest' so not being able to do this was really up-setting. Lockdown meant I was isolated as I live alone. Making arrangements for the funeral kept me busy. A graveside funeral, we had a vicar, book of service, songs - Vera Lyn 'The White Cliffs of Dover and Divo 'Ave Maria', hymns and a tribute to describe my mother life story. I hope we did her proud in these weird times we are living in. Then that was it, no wake with friends and family to make it easier to bear, just go back home alone. It is not the way we wanted my mothers last days to be, its been a difficult year xx
Posted by Karen Faulkner
